Solve That Problem ---With Humor
by William D. Ellis A lot of us lose life’s tougher confrontations by mounting a frontal attack--- when a touch of humor might well enable us to chalk up a win. Consider the case of a young friend of mine, who hit a traffic jam en route to work shortly after receiving an ultimatum about being late on the job. Although there was a good reason for Sam’s chronic tardiness--- serious illness at home--- he decided that this by-now-familiar excuse wouldn’t work any longer. His supervisor was probably already pacing up and down with a dismissal speech rehearsed.
在面对生活中较为激烈的冲突时，我们中有许多人因采用直截了当的回击而败下阵来，而来点幽默，也许就能使我们赢得胜利。就拿我的一位年轻朋友来说吧，他因上班迟到，收到了一份最后通牒。就在这之后不久，他又在上班的路上遇到了交通堵塞。尽管萨姆以往迟到了总会有个正当的借口——家里有人得了重病——可是这次，他认定这个惯用的借口再也不会奏效了。他的上司也许正在房间里来回踱步，在演练着开除他的演说词了。
He was. Sam entered the office at 9:35. The place was as quiet as a locker room; everyone was hard at work. Sam’s supervisor approached him. Suddenly, Sam forced a grin and shoved out his hand. “How do you do!” he said. “I’m Sam Maynard. I’m applying for a job which I understand became available just 35 minutes ago. Does the early bird get the worm?”
上司确实如此。萨姆9点35分走进了办公室。办公室里如同更衣室一般安静，每一
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个人都在努力地工作。萨姆的上司朝他走了过来。突然，萨姆强作欢笑，猛地伸出手来，说道“你好！我是萨姆·梅纳德，我现在申请在35分钟之前刚刚空出来的那份工作。疾足者能先得吗？”全屋里的人哄堂大笑。上司忍着笑，走回自己的办公室去了。萨姆运用了唯一能获胜的工具——笑声，保住了他的那份工作。
The room exploded in laughter. The supervisor clamped off a smile and walked back to his office. Sam Maynard had saved his job--- with the only tool that could win, a laugh.
Humor is a most effective, yet frequently neglected, means of handling the difficult situations in our lives. It can be used for patching up differences, apologizing, saying “no”, criticizing, getting the other fellow to do what you want without his losing face. For some jobs, it’s the only tool that can succeed. It is a way to discuss subjects so sensitive that serious dialog may start a riot. For example, many believe that comedians on television are doing more today for racial and religious tolerance than are people in any other forum.
在处理我们生活中难以应付的局面时，幽默是一种非常有效的、但却又常常被忽视了的手段。它可以用来解决分歧、表示道歉、说“不”、进行批评、让别人根据你的要求做事又不丢面子。对于某些工作来说，幽默是唯一能获胜的工具。它是讨论敏感话题的一种办法。在讨论太敏感的话题时一本正经地对话，可能会引起激烈冲突。例如，许多人都认为电视喜剧演员，如今为了种族间和宗教间的相互包容所起的作用，比其他任何论坛的人都更大。
Humor is often the best way to keep a small misunderstanding from escalating
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into a big deal. Recently a neighbor of mine had a squabble with his wife as she drove him to the airport. Airborne, he felt miserable, and he knew she did, too. Two hours after she returned home, she received a long-distance phone call. “Person-to-person for Mrs. I. A. Pologize,” intoned the operator. “That’s spelled ‘P’ as in …” In a twinkling, the whole day changed from grim to lovely at both ends of the wire.
幽默通常是防止小误会升级到大问题的最佳方法。最近，我的一位邻居在妻子开车送他去机场的路上，与她发生了一点口角。上了飞机后，他感到很痛苦，知道妻子也很难过。当他妻子两小时后回到家时，接到了一个长途电话。“受话人‘Mrs. I. A. Pologize(夫人，我道歉)’，”接线员拖长声音说道，“名字的拼写为P …。”一眨眼功夫，电话线两端的人的整个一天由阴转晴。
An English hostess with a quick wit was giving a formal dinner for eight distinguished guests whom she hoped to enlist in a major charity drive. Austerity was de rigueur in England at the time, and she had drafted her children to serve the meal. She knew that anything could happen--- and it did, just as her son, with the studied concentration of a tightrope walker, brought in a large roast turkey. He successfully elbowed the swinging dining-room door, but the backswing deplattered the bird onto the dining-room floor.
一位思维敏捷的英国女主人举行一个正式晚宴，宴请八位贵宾，希望取得他们对一个大型慈善活动的赞助。那时英国盛行简朴，所以她派孩子们端菜送饭。她知道什么事情都可能发生——当他儿子像走钢丝一样小心谨慎地端进一只很大的烤火鸡时，真的发生了一件事情。男孩很顺利地用胳膊肘推开餐厅的双开式弹簧门，但是门又反弹了回来，把鸡撞
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到餐厅的地板上了。
The boy stood rooted: guests stared at their plates. Moving only her head, the hostess smiled at her son. “No harm, Daniel,” she said. “Just pick it up and take him back to the kitchen”--- she enunciated clearly so he would think about what she was saying---“and bring in the other one.”
那男孩站在那儿一动不动。客人们盯着自己的盘子看。女主人只是转过头来，微笑着对儿子说道：“不要紧，丹尼尔，把它捡起来，拿回厨房就是了。”——她吐字非常清楚，所以儿子会领悟她所说的意思，——“把另一只拿来。”
A wink and a one-liner instantly changed the dinner from a red-faced embarrassment to a conspiracy of fun.
一个眼神，一句幽默，饭桌上令人脸红的尴尬场面很快就变成了心照不宣的乐趣了。
The power of humor to dissolve a hostile confrontation often lies in its unspoken promise: “You let me off the hook, my friend, and I’ll let you off.” The trick is to assign friendly motives to your opponent, to smile just a little---but not too much. Canada’s Governor-General Roland Michener, master of the technique, was about to inspect a public school when he was faced with a truculent picket line of striking maintenance personnel. If he backed away from the line, he would seriously diminish his office’s image; if he crossed it, he might put the government smack into a hot labor issue.
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幽默之所以能消除敌意的对抗，其力量在于无言的承诺：“我的朋友，你让我脱身，我也让你走人。”其诀窍就是权当你的对手是心怀好意，微微一笑——适可而止。擅长此道的加拿大总督罗兰·米切纳，去视察一所公立学校时，遇到了正在罢工的维修工人设置的一条气势汹汹的纠察线。如果他从纠察线前退缩回去，就会严重损害总督府的形象；如果他越过这条线，可能一下子就会让政府陷入棘手的劳工争端问题。
While he pondered the matter, more strikers gathered across his path. Suddenly, the graying pencil-line mustache on Michener’s face stretched a little in Cheshirean complicity. “How very nice of you all to turn out to see me!” he boomed. “Thank you. Shall we go in?” The line parted and, by the time the pickets began to chuckle, the Governor-General was striding briskly up the school steps.
他在考虑这事的时候，更多的罢工工人聚集起来，拦住了他的去路。突然，他脸上的那一点灰白胡子向两边微微一翘，像柴郡猫一样咧嘴笑道，“你们都出来看我，真是太好了！”他的声音低沉而有回响，“谢谢你们。我们可以进去了吗？”纠察线向两边分开了。当纠察队员们开始咯咯笑的时候，总督正迈着大步，轻快地踏上了学校的台阶了。
Next time you find yourself in an ethnically awkward situation, take a lesson from the diplomatic delegates to Europe’s Common Market. In the course of history nearly every member nation has been invaded or betrayed by at least one of the others, and the Market’s harmony must be constantly buttressed. One method is the laugh based on national caricatures. Recently, a new arrival at Market headquarters in Brussels introduced himself as a Minister for the Swiss Navy. Everybody laughed. The Swiss delegate retorted, “Well, why not ? Italy has
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a Minister of Finance.”
以后当你陷入有关种族问题的尴尬境地时，借鉴欧洲共同市场的外交代表们的作法。在历史进程中，几乎每一个成员国都曾遭到至少一个其它国家的入侵或背叛，所以共同市场之间的相互和谐必须不断地得到巩固。有一种方法就是对民族特征的调侃。最近，一位刚到共同市场布鲁塞尔总部的代表自我介绍说他是瑞士（无海之国）的海军部长。大家听了都笑起来了。这位瑞士代表反嘲道，“嗨，为什么不行？意大利（无财之国）不是还有财政部长吗？”
Of course, humor is often more than a laughing matter. In its more potent guises, it has a Trojan-horse nature: no one goes on guard against a gag; we let it in because it looks like a little wooden toy. Once inside, however, it can turn a city to reform, to rebellion, to resistance. Some believe, for instance, that, next to the heroic British RAF, British humor did the most to fend off a German takeover in World War II. One sample will suffice: that famous story of the woman who was finally extracted from the rubble of her house during the London blitz. Asked, “Where is your husband ?” she brushed brick dust off her head and arms and answered, “Fighting in Libya, the bloody coward !”
当然，幽默通常不仅仅只是笑笑而已。当幽默以更为巧妙的形式出现时，就具有特洛依木马的特性：没人会提防它；我们接受它，只是因为它看上去有点像个小小的木制玩具。然而，它一旦进来了，就能在城市内引起改革、反叛和抵抗。例如，有人认为，在第二次世界大战中，英国人挡住了德军的占领，除了英勇的英国皇家空军以外，还有英国式的幽默也起了很大作用。举一个例子就足以说明问题：这个著名的故事说的是一位妇女在伦敦遭轰炸期间，最后被人费力地从被炸成瓦砾的家中救了出来。当问她“你丈夫在哪儿？”
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时，她掸掉满头、满胳膊的砖灰，回答道，“正在利比亚打仗呢，那个胆小鬼！”
Similarly, whenever we Americans start taking ourselves a bit too seriously, a grassroots humor seems to rise and strew banana peels in our path. The movement is usually led by professionals: Mark Twain penlancing the boils of pomposity ( “Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.”); Will Rogers deflating our law-makers ( “The oldest boy became a Congressman, and the second son turned out no good, too.”); Bill Mauldin needling fatuous officers ( One 2nd lieutenant to another, on observing a beautiful sunset: “Is there one for enlisted men, too ?”). Such masters of comic deflation restore the balance. They bring us back to ourselves.
When life has us in a tight corner, one of the first questions we might ask is, “Can I solve this with a laugh ?” Men with giant responsibilities have frequently used this approach to giant problems--- often with sweeping effect. As Gen. George C. Marshall, U.S. Army Chief of Staff, labored to prepare this then-unready nation to enter World War II, he met stiff opposition from his Commander-in-chief regarding the elements that called for the most bolstering. Marshall felt that what we needed most were highly developed ground forces. President Roosevelt was a navy man who believed that our principal need was for a powerful navy, plus a large air force. In increasingly tense debates with the President, Marshall pushed his argument so hard that he began to foster ever stronger resistance. Finally, during a particularly hot session, the usually stone-faced Marshall forced a grin. “At least, Mr. President,” he said, “You might stop referring to the Navy as ‘us’ and Army as ‘them’.”
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当生活把我们逼到绝境中时，我们首先要问的一个问题或许就是，“我们可以用笑声来解决这个问题吗？”肩负重任之人经常使用这种方法来解决重大问题——而且通常具有决定性的影响。当美国陆军参谋长乔治·C·马歇尔将军努力让当时尚未准备好的美国参加二战时，在就哪一方面最需要支持这一问题上，他遭到了最高统帅的激烈反对。马歇尔觉得我们最需要的是高度机械化的地面部队，而海军出身的罗斯福总统则认为我们主要的需要是一支强有力的海军部队，另加一支大规模的空军部队。在与总统越来越激烈的争论中，马歇尔据理力争，并开始酝酿更强有力的反驳。最后，在一次异常激烈的会议上，一贯板着脸的马歇尔挤出一丝笑容，笑着说道：“总统先生，您最好还是不要把海军说成‘我们’，把陆军说成‘他们’吧。”
Roosevelt studied Marshall over his glasses, then unlipped a great show of teeth and laughter. Shortly thereafter, he made a more objective study of Marshall’s recommendations and eventually bought the ground-force concept.
罗斯福从眼镜上方审视了一下马歇尔，然后突然大笑起来。很快，他更加客观地研究了马歇尔的建议，终于采纳了加强地面部队这一方案。
Occasionally, humor goes beyond saving arguments, saving face or saving jibs; it can save life itself. Victor E. Frankl was a psychiatrist imprisoned in a German concentration camp during World War II. As the shrinking number of surviving prisoners descended to new depths of hell, Frankl and his closet prisoner friend sought desperately for ways to keep from dying. Piled on top of malnutrition, exhaustion and disease, suicidal despair was the big killer in these citadels of degradation.
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有时候，幽默不仅仅能避免争论，挽回面子或者保住工作；它还能挽救生命。维克托·弗兰克尔是个精神病学家，在第二次世界大战中被囚禁在一个德国的集中营里。随着幸存的囚犯人数越来越少，囚犯的生活条件越来越恶劣，弗兰克尔和他最亲密的难友极力寻找办法来求生。在这些侮辱人格的集中营中，除了营养不良、劳累和疾病以外，因绝望而自杀是最大的杀手。
As a psychiatrist, Frankl knew that humor was one of the soul’s best survival weapons, since it can create, if only for moments, aloofness from horror. Therefore, Frankl made a rule that once each day he and his friend must invent and tell an amusing anecdote, specifically about something which could happen after their liberation.
作为一个精神病学家，弗兰克尔知道幽默是人最好的求生武器之一，因为它能让人远离恐怖，即使是片刻的远离也好。于是，弗兰克尔制定了一条规则，他和他的朋友每一天必须编造一个有趣的轶事讲给对方听，特别是讲一些他们获得解放以后可能会发生的事情。
Others were caught up in the contagion of defiant laughter. One starving prisoner forecast that in the future he might be at a prestigious formal dinner, and when the soup was being served, he would shatter protocol by imploring the hostess, “Ladle it from the bottom !”
受到这种藐视一切的笑声的感染，其他人都被吸引住了。一名饥饿的囚犯预言说将来他可能会出席一个盛大的正式宴会。当汤被端上来时，他会打破礼节，哀求女主人说，“从最下面捞吧！”
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If humor can be used successfully against such odds, what can’t you and I do with it in daily life?
如果在如此艰难的情况下，幽默能成功地运用的话，那么你我在日常生活中还有什么不能用它来解决的呢？
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